Everyone says they hate to fail. But why do so many seem to be having an affair with the goddess of failure?
Because of all the limiting memes floating around, people actually romanticize failure:
The romantic suicides and rock stars who OD. Marcello, Rodolfo, and Mimi, the struggling Bohemians in the cold Latin Quarter garret, burning pages from Rodolfo’s manuscript to stay warm. (On Christmas Eve no less!) “I’m always a day late and a dollar short.” “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”
So what’s this romance with failure all about?
It’s the lie we love to tell ourselves. We gave it our best, but the odds were simply stacked against us. We were too young, too old, didn’t have enough money, were lacking the right education, came from the wrong side of the tracks.
Failure comes with a built in validation: You can say, “Hey, I’m not one of those losers that never tried. I gave it a valiant attempt, but came up short because (insert excuse absolving you from any responsibility here).”
It’s romantic to tell yourself that you were just one simple human, valiantly fighting against the forces of evil. It’s not quite as romantic to say I tried, it didn’t work out, so I quit.
If you’re composing an opera, writing a screenplay or television show – by all means romanticize failure, because it’s guaranteed to be a hit with the masses. But if you want to be successful, healthy and happy in your own life – you need to reprogram the meaning and emotions you assign failure.
Yes it’s romantic to talk about the days when you were struggling. But it’s only romantic after you’ve succeeded! Before that, it kind of just sucks. Romanticizing failure is really just your self-sabotage behavior acting out.
Some thoughts about failure:
- Failure is never fatal, unless you decide it is.
- Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of the process to reaching success, as you use it to acquire new skills, learn new wisdom and develop character.
- If you want to win, you must be willing to fail. But not stay there.
- The people who reach the highest levels of success are the ones who have experienced the greatest failures. But they didn’t let those failures define them. They let them mold them.
- The goddess of failure is a cruel mistress. If you try to seduce her, she will leave you heartbroken.
-RG
Reader interactions
36 Replies to “The Romance of Failure”
WOOOOOOOO Wonderful post randy!! Thanks!
WOOOOOOOO Wonderful post randy!! Thanks!
brilliant..
brilliant..
i love you
i love you
I was just today telling my new collegue about struggles I had during my study in the University and how proud I am now that I finished it with an honor. That’s so true, there is a big deal of conditioning coming from films and songs about a lot of perverted stuff, not only about failure. Thank you for a great article.
I was just today telling my new collegue about struggles I had during my study in the University and how proud I am now that I finished it with an honor. That’s so true, there is a big deal of conditioning coming from films and songs about a lot of perverted stuff, not only about failure. Thank you for a great article.
So true ! I just finisht reading a book from Richard Branson. He almost “promote” to fail. Because that’s where you learn things.
So true ! I just finisht reading a book from Richard Branson. He almost “promote” to fail. Because that’s where you learn things.
Faliure = learning, growth… which then = successes…
Faliure = learning, growth… which then = successes…
I love this: “Yes it’s romantic to talk about the days when you were struggling. But it’s only romantic after you’ve succeeded! Before that, it kind of just sucks.”
I love this: “Yes it’s romantic to talk about the days when you were struggling. But it’s only romantic after you’ve succeeded! Before that, it kind of just sucks.”
@ randy you make as smart but there is problem with being smart .when we are surrounded with Dumb people i don’t know how to behave with them because i know i m wasting my time but that situation make me uncomfortable . can you please give me any idea how to handle that situation when my new belief conflicting with there
@ randy you make as smart but there is problem with being smart .when we are surrounded with Dumb people i don’t know how to behave with them because i know i m wasting my time but that situation make me uncomfortable . can you please give me any idea how to handle that situation when my new belief conflicting with there
MR RANDY GAGE ONE SERIOUS REQUEST PLEASE RELEASE YOUR BOOKS IN HINDI (LANGUAGE ) IN INDIA SO I CAN GIFT THEM TO MY FRIENDS WHO DON’T KNOW ENGLISH AT LEAST ONE BOOK THAT I LOVE MOST ” WHY YOU ARE DUMB SICK AND BROKE AND HOW TO BE SMART HEALTHY AND RICH “
@Sanjay sharma We offer my books to publishers in all countries and have many that buy the rights. We have sold some rights in India, but only for English I’m afraid. None have made an offer for Hindi. Hopefully that will change soon.
-RG
@Randy_Gage ya i hope soon your books will come in Hindi
MR RANDY GAGE ONE SERIOUS REQUEST PLEASE RELEASE YOUR BOOKS IN HINDI (LANGUAGE ) IN INDIA SO I CAN GIFT THEM TO MY FRIENDS WHO DON’T KNOW ENGLISH AT LEAST ONE BOOK THAT I LOVE MOST ” WHY YOU ARE DUMB SICK AND BROKE AND HOW TO BE SMART HEALTHY AND RICH “
@Sanjay sharma We offer my books to publishers in all countries and have many that buy the rights. We have sold some rights in India, but only for English I’m afraid. None have made an offer for Hindi. Hopefully that will change soon.
-RG
Great post, Randy! I especially liked “If you want to win, you must be willing to fail. But not stay there.” Many people state the first sentence, in one form or another. But it’s the last 4 words, “But not stay there”, that are the really important ones. Thanks!
Great post, Randy! I especially liked “If you want to win, you must be willing to fail. But not stay there.” Many people state the first sentence, in one form or another. But it’s the last 4 words, “But not stay there”, that are the really important ones. Thanks!
The path to success had many turns and twists just like a good screenplay or book. As long as we COMMIT to staying ON the path we embrace the lessons learned from the failures knowing they are key to our success. This is a GREAT post Randy.. So let me just add…. BOOM!
The path to success had many turns and twists just like a good screenplay or book. As long as we COMMIT to staying ON the path we embrace the lessons learned from the failures knowing they are key to our success. This is a GREAT post Randy.. So let me just add…. BOOM!
Is it me, or does that picture look a little like a close up of a bum wearing a thong, sat on a cake?!
Is it me, or does that picture look a little like a close up of a bum wearing a thong, sat on a cake?!
By the way, I am a big fan and all that, but that pic did make me chuckle!
By the way, I am a big fan and all that, but that pic did make me chuckle!
@Randy_Gage ya i hope soon your books will come in Hindi
Wow….. Great post Randy!
Wow….. Great post Randy!
Because opposite attract and we are program like that.
Because opposite attract and we are program like that.
New Zealand Black Sox win world Softball champs for the sixth time. well done guys, you rock! http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/other-sports/8406226/Black-Sox-take-record-breaking-world-title
New Zealand Black Sox win world Softball champs for the sixth time. well done guys, you rock! http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/other-sports/8406226/Black-Sox-take-record-breaking-world-title