Ok kids, it’s the special time of year again. The time when I usually butcher the holiday classic, “T’was the Night Before Christmas.” But last year I introduced a new twist…
Since we have the blog now, I opened it up and let YOU guys finish the poem. There were some delightful submissions and a lot of fun was had by all. So let’s do it again. And once again a fabulous grand prize will be awarded to the winner!
I’ll start the poem, and you guys come up with the ending. Whoever comes up with the best finish will win either:
A) $100,000 cash;
B) My Viper SRT;
C) A night of hot steamy sex with me; or,
D) Honorable mention in the next blog post.
The prize is determined by me, and all decisions are final. If you’re looking for C, better send pix! If you want to review last year’s entries, look here:
Now, let’s get to it:
The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.
The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.
When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
And now dear reader, the rest is up to you…
P.S. I wish you a joyous holiday season filled with good friends, happy reunions, and stimulating conversations - and a New Year of hope, healing, and highest good. However in light of the new FTC policy, please note the following conditions:
The holiday greeting and wishes for a Happy New Year contained in this blog are extended from Randy Gage ("Wishor”), to you (“Recipient”), subject to the following terms and conditions:
This greeting is extended without obligation, implied or implicit, best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, gender neutral, celebration of the secular winter solstice holiday only. Any similarities to religious and/or national holidays are purely coincidental.
This greeting may be accepted in the context of the traditions of the religious beliefs of your choice, or secular beliefs of your choice, regardless of sexual orientation or operating system preference. However, such acceptance by the recipient does not imply any endorsements or consents by the Wishor.
My wishes for your emotional state, financial success, and freedom from disease apply to the generally accepted calendar year 2010. Any other calendars of choice from other cultures or sects are subject to availability.
This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal, is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor, and is non transferable. The Wishor implies no promise to actually implement any of the wishes. The extent of the holiday spirit experienced will be determined by the effort recipient puts into it. The claims described are for illustration purposes only. Your results may differ. These statements have not been approved by the FDA. This greeting is void where prohibited by law.
“Christmas” “God” and “Jesus” are registered trademarks of the Amway Corporation; all rights reserved.