Funny coincidence: I’m working with two different writers in my author apprentice program and yesterday gave the same advice to both of them. Specifically, that for their (very different) books to really help their readers, they need to examine, explore, and expose the many “payoffs” people get by being a victim. Because if someone doesn’t recognize they’re getting some type of emotional reward from being exploited, they can’t stop bringing more victim situations into their life.
At its ultimate level, everything in the universe (including you and I), are energy vibrations. And energy can be attracted or repelled. We all know certain people who are magnets for attracting victim energy. It’s simple physics…
When the victim is ready, the calamity will appear...
You might wonder how I’m so certain of this, since I have no training or education in the science of physics. That’s because I don’t need it. I earned a Ph.D. in victimhood. In fact, I spent the first 30 years of my life attracting calamity after calamity.
In my case, I was an emotional cripple unable to accept love, so I substituted attention and sympathy in its place. Without boring you with all the specifics, the bottom line was simply I attracted disasters, calamities, injustice, illness, accidents and other misfortune, because it provided an emotional payoff.
And that’s the power of the dark side of victimhood…
You think you’re being victimized (and sometimes you are), but in addition, you are receiving rewards you perceive to be greater than your victimization. So, on a subconscious level, you take behaviors that attract more mayhem and misfortune into your life. Your life then spirals down to the desperation point. You’re forced to make a choice between being a victim or being a victor.
Sadly, too many choose victimhood. The end results are ugly, and usually involve addiction, abuse, suicide, or death by another cause. You keep pursuing that emotional payoff in ever-increasing highs until you overdose and there are no more payoffs.
Fortunately, others choose victory. They are able to develop enough self-awareness to recognize the reality and the danger of the payoff they’ve been receiving from being a victim – and reject it to recover their power.
When you play stupid games, you win only stupid prizes. Victimhood is the emotional equivalent of crystal meth. You start with the greatest high you’ve ever experienced. Then you begin a futile chase to recapture that initial high, but never can, no matter how much you increase the dose. Eventually, you kick the habit, or it kills you.
Once you recognize that the rewards of victimhood are counterfeit, you stop attracting them and can allow yourself to receive real rewards: love, health, happiness, healthy relationships, and prosperity.