Last week we looked at ways we may feed our victim mentality by staying sick or broke. Do you think you could do the same thing to threaten a healthy relationship? Or prevent you from ever getting one?
Well let me ask...
If you’re single, do you have a daunting list of qualifications that make it impossible for a human to qualify?
Guys - does having a “cold, frigid wife,” a “bitch ex-wife,” or jealous controlling girlfriend (or all three!) fit perfectly into your martyr identity? And ladies, how often are you affirming that all the good guys are Gay or married? That’s funny because the Gay guys are saying that all the good guys are straight.
And if you are in a dysfunctional relationship, is it really all the other person’s fault like you maintain? How many of the negatives in your relationship are exact parallels of the pattern you witnessed with your parents? And have you repeated the same negative relationship five or six different time, just with different people?
Do you have single friends who get jealous when you are happily seeing someone? What effect might this have on your prospects of a long-term happy relationship?
Do you regale your friends with stories of past injustices from previous relationships? Do you have a “support group” of friends who console you every time you get abused, dumped, or stood up? If so, how much of your identity is tied into this?
In other words, does having unhappy and unhealthy relationships fulfill your vision of yourself as a noble victim? And don’t just focus on your spouse, or lack of one. What about your relationships with your family and close friends?
Please spend some time doing some critical thinking on this and the things we discussed last week and share your thoughts below.
Perhaps you have good relationships, but aren’t wealthy. Maybe you’ve got a lot of money, but poor health. Evaluate all the areas of your life, and see if you are subconsciously holding on to victim-hood in any way. It’s the first step to limitless abundance!