You’ve probably heard a lot of talk about the Google eyeglasses, and computers that can recognize and translate language. But you may not have heard about the amazing device I just created. It’s called…
The SaboLator.
It’s the world’s first self-sabotage translator. You simply enter in your validation for why you’re not wealthy, healthy or happy – and it translates it into the true meaning! Here are a couple examples for you:
“There was no time to exercise today, because I had an early flight.” SaboLator translation: My health isn’t important to me, so I didn’t get my ass out of bed early enough to do my exercise.
“I could have done that, but I chose to be a stay-at-home parent instead.” SaboLator translation: I didn’t think I was worthy, so I used my kids as an excuse for not even trying.
“We may not be rich, but at least we’re honest.” SaboLator translation: All rich people are cheats and liars, so we take perverse pleasure in being broke.
“I know lots of rich people and most of them aren’t very happy.” SaboLator translation: I hate money and don’t think I deserve it. If I demean the people who have it, I don’t have to make excuses for my own lack of success.
“I’m trying to get ahead, but my bill collectors are harassing me, my bitch ex-wife is dunning me for child support, and I need money for smokes because the tobacco companies got me addicted.” SaboLator translation: I take no responsibility for my actions and blame everything around me.
“Very funny Gage. This is all easy for you to say because you’ve had so many breaks and were fortunate to have opportunities most really poor people don’t have. And if you understood the unique situation I had to go through, you’d know that in my case, I really am the innocent victim of circumstances.” SaboLator translation: Don’t try to wrest my victim-hood away from me. I earned it and I’m going to wallow in it!
The SaboLator is in production now and will be available for orders soon. Should I sign you up for one?
-RG
Reader interactions
163 Replies to “Announcing…the SaboLator!”
I would if I wasn’t so busy reading your posts!!! 😉
@mlmxpertholland LOL
I would if I wasn’t so busy reading your posts!!! 😉
We all like a good softener!!!
We all like a good softener!!!
Unfortunately, at times, I’d be setting off the SaboLator’s alarm.
Unfortunately, at times, I’d be setting off the SaboLator’s alarm.
hahaha very witty 🙂
hahah…the explanations are funny! interesting thing there
hahaha very witty 🙂
hahah…the explanations are funny! interesting thing there
lol
lol
interesting
interesting
Boy that Sabolator is accurate in the scenarios… human nature and responses. Great post
Boy that Sabolator is accurate in the scenarios… human nature and responses. Great post
😀 3:)
😀 3:)
Sign me up Gage!!
Sign me up Gage!!
Excellent! Even the BEST excuses can be translated! “I’m dead” translation: “My victimhood is complete!”
Excellent! Even the BEST excuses can be translated! “I’m dead” translation: “My victimhood is complete!”
hahahahaha GREAT!!!
hahahahaha GREAT!!!
That’s a very nice idea though
That’s a very nice idea though
You’re brilliant
You’re brilliant
Very Cool
Very Cool
Really interested
Really interested
Well said dude!
Well said dude!
LOL almost laughed my head off – Recognize these justifications :)))))))))))))))) and fixed ideas! Actually tough ones to get rid of – but also VERY FUNNY – because they are completely illogical – definately mindviruses. But when detected they loose power and can be replaced! I would DEFINATELY love to LOVE to be signed up for more than one – Definately a “MUST SHARE”
XOXO
Lene
LOL almost laughed my head off – Recognize these justifications :)))))))))))))))) and fixed ideas! Actually tough ones to get rid of – but also VERY FUNNY – because they are completely illogical – definately mindviruses. But when detected they loose power and can be replaced! I would DEFINATELY love to LOVE to be signed up for more than one – Definately a “MUST SHARE”
XOXO
Lene
This is an extremely great! Thanks, Randy, for SaboLator.
This is an extremely great! Thanks, Randy, for SaboLator.
@mlmxpertholland LOL
Hi Randy, Guilty as charged – but only some of the time. Regards, Lenore Goodnreadytogo
Hi Randy, Guilty as charged – but only some of the time. Regards, Lenore Goodnreadytogo
nice
nice
I think the world could use a sabolator 🙂
I think the world could use a sabolator 🙂
Best post ever!!!!
@EdieGalley1 I wanted to write exactly the same! 😀
Best post ever!!!!
@EdieGalley1 I wanted to write exactly the same! 😀
Are you really going to create something like that?
I am asking, because it seems to be very feasible from the programming point of view, at least an approximate version
Are you really going to create something like that?
I am asking, because it seems to be very feasible from the programming point of view, at least an approximate version
RANDY GAGE IS GETTING IT!!! 😉
RANDY GAGE IS GETTING IT!!! 😉
LOVE IT : can’t wait to get one if you really manufacture it !!!
LOVE IT : can’t wait to get one if you really manufacture it !!!
sign me up for one!
sign me up for one!
All rich people are cheats and liars, so we take perverse pleasure in being broke.:)
All rich people are cheats and liars, so we take perverse pleasure in being broke.:)
@realmarketingfv 🙂 thanks
@realmarketingfv 🙂 thanks
I will take one in every color – belated birthday present to myself and Christmas shopping done early!
I will take one in every color – belated birthday present to myself and Christmas shopping done early!
LMAO!! Ahhh man Randy, this was excellent! Just when I feel I’m making some progress you give me a good smack to the face and a kick to the groin of the ego and make me realize I’m still selling myself short! Time to pull my head a little further out of my own ass! Thanks brother! KEEP THE AWESOMENESS FLOWING!!
If this blog hurt your feeling than chances are Randy is talking directly to you! Go do something amazing!
LMAO!! Ahhh man Randy, this was excellent! Just when I feel I’m making some progress you give me a good smack to the face and a kick to the groin of the ego and make me realize I’m still selling myself short! Time to pull my head a little further out of my own ass! Thanks brother! KEEP THE AWESOMENESS FLOWING!!
If this blog hurt your feeling than chances are Randy is talking directly to you! Go do something amazing!
hahaha – self sabotage x-latr (Xtenuating CYA LATER circumstances!) (snickering) good one, Randy Verne
hahaha – self sabotage x-latr (Xtenuating CYA LATER circumstances!) (snickering) good one, Randy Verne
@David_Drews 🙂
@Randy_Gage 3 SaboLators. One for home, one for work and one for the car ride in between the two.
@David_Drews LOL
@David_Drews 🙂
@Randy_Gage 3 SaboLators. One for home, one for work and one for the car ride in between the two.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQCP85FngzE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQCP85FngzE
Very funny! Love this!
““I could have done that, but I chose to be a stay-at-home parent instead.” SaboLator translation: I didn’t think I was worthy, so I used my kids as an excuse for not even trying.”
I have wanted to say this one a few times but didn’t want to be ganged up on by a group of mothers. Not saying that all stay-at-home moms are this way but I have met some that totally blamed the kids and then lived lives of bitterness and regret later on. They tell you to place your oxygen mask on FIRST in the airplane and then help others. So, gotta get your air so that you can be useful and not regretful.
9
Very funny! Love this!
““I could have done that, but I chose to be a stay-at-home parent instead.” SaboLator translation: I didn’t think I was worthy, so I used my kids as an excuse for not even trying.”
I have wanted to say this one a few times but didn’t want to be ganged up on by a group of mothers. Not saying that all stay-at-home moms are this way but I have met some that totally blamed the kids and then lived lives of bitterness and regret later on. They tell you to place your oxygen mask on FIRST in the airplane and then help others. So, gotta get your air so that you can be useful and not regretful.
9
I might want one, but it depends on the cost. LOL
I might want one, but it depends on the cost. LOL
Randy- what would the SaboLator say about your Marlins “rebuilding”?
@Joe G That would be a whole blog in itself!
-RG
Randy- what would the SaboLator say about your Marlins “rebuilding”?
@David_Drews LOL
LOL!! I’m loving the SaboLator. Need some more:)
LOL!! I’m loving the SaboLator. Need some more:)
cool
cool
Hard to pick favorites but this may be my favorite RG dot com post to date!
Hard to pick favorites but this may be my favorite RG dot com post to date!
Thanks Randy.
Thanks Randy.
Awesome info!
Awesome info!
How very fascinating! (Y) 🙂
How very fascinating! (Y) 🙂
@mpowermentalist 🙂 thanks
@mpowermentalist 🙂 thanks
great article, Randy
great article, Randy
Interesting!
Interesting!
@Joe G That would be a whole blog in itself!
-RG
Love it, love it!!! Good to check in on my own excuses And I’m going to create my own (I’ll be sure not to infringe on name and pending patents). Thanks for the kickass reminder of how we use shit outside of us to explain away our pain.
Love it, love it!!! Good to check in on my own excuses And I’m going to create my own (I’ll be sure not to infringe on name and pending patents). Thanks for the kickass reminder of how we use shit outside of us to explain away our pain.
We all have one, I’m sure!
We all have one, I’m sure!
““I could have done that, but I chose to be a stay-at-home parent instead.” SaboLator translation: I didn’t think I was worthy, so I used my kids as an excuse for not even trying.”
=> choosing to be a stay at home parent may not be sabotage… it may be the best thing for everyone involved…
You, your family & your kids may be worth being a stay at home parent.
just as getting healthy and slowing down may be the best thing… it is could be saying you are worthy
Sometimes we attach our worth to our work, how much money we make, how much volunteer work we do, etc… God loves us … it does not depend on how much we work & sacrifice… he wants us to be happy… and we are all unique… we can’t compete with others… we have our own gifts, talents and work that brings us joy… so maybe for some that is being a stay at home parent.
@BerniceTempleman1 Amen, Sister. I have a friend on Facebook and she wrote for Career “Yes, I work I am a Stay at Home Mom” Title “Chaos Manager” 🙂
Yes, Randy! Sign me up for one, but I need one for translating thoughts. When I get this one, my speech will end, LOL 🙂
Yes, Randy! Sign me up for one, but I need one for translating thoughts. When I get this one, my speech will end, LOL 🙂
Its funny that sometimes we say one thing but are really saying something else. It’s only the perceptive few who can read between the lines well.
Its funny that sometimes we say one thing but are really saying something else. It’s only the perceptive few who can read between the lines well.
The most common excuse I hear from people is not having the time to exercise. Find some time to go up and down a flight of stairs for 10 straight minutes a day. Your heart will thank you.
The most common excuse I hear from people is not having the time to exercise. Find some time to go up and down a flight of stairs for 10 straight minutes a day. Your heart will thank you.
@BerniceTempleman1 Amen, Sister. I have a friend on Facebook and she wrote for Career “Yes, I work I am a Stay at Home Mom” Title “Chaos Manager” 🙂
Let’s throw this in to your SaboLator : “Lots of People Disagree with me, so I have to prove them wrong.” Sabolator Translator ” I have no faith in my convictions, because many of them are inconsistent and insulting to myself and others” Randy it does not matter if your fat, poor, and a stay at home mom as long as you love yourself.
okay, it was a clever post. But, it was a little harsh Randy. Are you that mean to yourself?
@Annieb You have been on this blog for past couple of years now, posting with different names and always believe in attacking people personally. Pls get yourself a medical help .and if your beliefs are so important to you , go and start your own blog . I am surprised to see that inspite of all your nonsenses and public apology done by you in past , you keep showing the same behavior . May be you are here to teach us a lesson. How to be patient and ignore trouble makers like you ??
@Annieb I feel sorry for you Annie.Not for what has happened to you, because almost all of us here have had some sort of adversity, but for the fact you continue to act this way.There is nothing wrong with being a realist, but you seem to be a very negative person.Randy can be blunt, and sometimes that is upsetting, but the point of it is he wants us to be upset so we do something about it.
(function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();
@ThomasMrak Vineet, LenejytteHansen, Thank you for your kind comments and encouragement. It is nice for a person like me who is clinically insane and medically untreated to have positive empathic folks like yourself in my corner. Keep up the good work in the world.
okay, it was a clever post. But, it was a little harsh Randy. Are you that mean to yourself?
Oh Randy, sometimes I just get so Mad at you! I know you are trying to help people. But, really it just seems so something…. Unkind?
Oh Randy, sometimes I just get so Mad at you! I know you are trying to help people. But, really it just seems so something…. Unkind?
I’ve already got one, and am in the process of ending a long emotional relationship with it to donate it to a more ‘worthy’ recipient. Please do not send me yours. I’ll have to find two worthy recipients. Aw, come to think of it, I reckon I know enough – ok, send it on to me !
I’ve already got one, and am in the process of ending a long emotional relationship with it to donate it to a more ‘worthy’ recipient. Please do not send me yours. I’ll have to find two worthy recipients. Aw, come to think of it, I reckon I know enough – ok, send it on to me !
Funny! 🙂
Funny! 🙂
No! Never!! Zero excuses for my success! just move and go for it!
No! Never!! Zero excuses for my success! just move and go for it!
Worth the erad
Worth the erad
Do have an app for it too, Randy?
Do have an app for it too, Randy?
Fucking Mind opening. this is Typical Randy Gage straight talk to the point ,
Fucking Mind opening. this is Typical Randy Gage straight talk to the point ,
Best post of the year
Best post of the year
@Annieb its not harsh or being unkind .its just Straight Talk i think you misunderstood it
@Annieb its not harsh or being unkind .its just Straight Talk i think you misunderstood it
No, it´s not me to sign-up to!
…. but I tend to kiss the ground you walked on to do that new technical work!!!
That´s an awesome idea and “product” to add. Will you offer it with various languages to serve the world?
No, it´s not me to sign-up to!
…. but I tend to kiss the ground you walked on to do that new technical work!!!
That´s an awesome idea and “product” to add. Will you offer it with various languages to serve the world?
I want at least 10! LOL
I want at least 10! LOL
@Annieb You have been on this blog for past couple of years now, posting with different names and always believe in attacking people personally. Pls get yourself a medical help .and if your beliefs are so important to you , go and start your own blog . I am surprised to see that inspite of all your nonsenses and public apology done by you in past , you keep showing the same behavior . May be you are here to teach us a lesson. How to be patient and ignore trouble makers like you ??
well done moments of HAHAHA
well done moments of HAHAHA
Why is this not a mobile App?Great way to advertise and amuse Randy!
(function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();
Why is this not a mobile App?Great way to advertise and amuse Randy!
(function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();
@Annieb I feel sorry for you Annie.Not for what has happened to you, because almost all of us here have had some sort of adversity, but for the fact you continue to act this way.There is nothing wrong with being a realist, but you seem to be a very negative person.Randy can be blunt, and sometimes that is upsetting, but the point of it is he wants us to be upset so we do something about it.
(function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();
LOL! That was a humorous, kind of facetious (sp), yet poigniant way of getting the point across.
We are “who we subconsciously beleive ourselves to be” NOT we are who we “think” we are.. so you’ve kind of revealed, in a playful, creative way, the hidden order of self-deception RG. Well done!
LOL! That was a humorous, kind of facetious (sp), yet poigniant way of getting the point across.
We are “who we subconsciously beleive ourselves to be” NOT we are who we “think” we are.. so you’ve kind of revealed, in a playful, creative way, the hidden order of self-deception RG. Well done!
@ThomasMrak Vineet, LenejytteHansen, Thank you for your kind comments and encouragement. It is nice for a person like me who is clinically insane and medically untreated to have positive empathic folks like yourself in my corner. Keep up the good work in the world.
LOL! Ok gonna translate into my own languages cos it’s so universal it’s scary!
LOL! Ok gonna translate into my own languages cos it’s so universal it’s scary!
No thanks! I am perfectly fine without this device 😛