So last post, I told you that if the people around you aren’t a positive influence – pulling you up and preventing you from dysfunctional behavior – the problem is you.
Because you’re in the drivers seat here. You’re the one orchestrating the interactions and determining who you’re interacting with. Here’s the reality:
Most of us surround ourselves with people who give us permission to stay the way we are.
You have to counter program against that. You need to surround yourself with some people who challenge you. Get in your grill. Tell you the truth; not just what you want to hear.
Here’s another dynamic. We’re spending so much time looking at people’s social media depiction of their lives these days, we’ve lost touch with reality.
Understand something: those pix from your friends on Facebook and Instagram of their tropical vacations, sushi dinners with cool people, and front row seats at the U2 concert aren’t representative of their real lives. Nobody puts a pic on Instagram of their divorce hearing, and no one updates Facebook to say that they feel they’re about to relapse into their addiction.
Life is a blessing; life is a chore. Life is effortless; life is arduous. Life is joy; life is sorrow.
And everything in between...
So the first step to creating a circle of people around you who impact you positively, is staying in touch with reality. Knowing your life isn’t perfect, and their lives aren’t perfect either. If you try to portray to everyone around you that your life is only unicorns, moonbeams and bliss, you’re cheating both them and yourself.
Don’t be afraid to let the people who are important to you know when things aren’t going perfect. You can’t have a real relationship any other way. And don’t try to “protect” the people close to you from knowing about your inner demons like depression, suicidal thoughts, or addiction. Doing that can become a death sentence.
You have to create a safe environment where you can be real with them, and they can be real with you.
Not everyone. Not all your Facebook friends. But with at least a couple of your real friends.
So how do you attract and keep people who know the real you, and will help you become the better you? We’ll explore that deeper tomorrow. Until then, please share your thoughts below.