Stop Judging the Wrong Things

If you’re attacked by a few drunks in a bar, you probably want someone dripping with testosterone and muscles like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson helping to defend you.  If you’re writing a novel for young girls, you might seek advice from someone radiating estrogen and empathy like Kelly Clarkson. I would posit that if you are facing a life-altering decision of the highest consequence, you might get the most help from a trans or non-binary person, who may draw more equally on both aspects of their humanity.  Of course I would expect to be eviscerated by most of society for even suggesting such a position, but do believe it would hold true most often. (And for the record, no shade intended for The Rock or Kelly; I’m a fan boy of both.)  

There is a magic in the space between opposite energies – masculine and feminine, yin and yang, positive and negative – a synergy that is greater than either side alone.  Even the bacteria in your gut operates on the same principle. This delicate dance between opposite but equal forces maintains balance in the universe.

Like many discussion, this one can get in trouble because of the connotations we have assigned words.  It’s widely accepted that positive means good and negative means bad.  But in the context we’re discussing – that of the universal laws that govern prosperity – both positive and negative are equal and equally beneficial forces.  If you assign a “bad” judgment to one side (masculine, negative, etc.) you’re placing judgment in a situation where it isn’t relevant or helpful. 

In these types of situations, there are no bad or good sides, only equal and helpful ones, because of the synergy they create. It is only our misplaced judgment that looks to assign an evil or malicious intent to one side.  If you get a flat tire on your way to the supermarket, you probably think that is bad. But the guy who owns the tire store (who is trying to earn enough money to send his daughter to college) might see it as good.  I could choose to think that my teeth alignment was negative, but my dentist who did my braces probably has another viewpoint.

Winter is not bad and summer is not good. Nor does spring have to be bad for fall to be good. They just are. And we need the contrasts for anything to have meaning for us.  There is as much beauty in a glacier in Alaska, as there is on a sandy beach in Hawai’i.  One need not be evil and the other good, they both just are.  Can you really relish a success as richly if you’ve never endured a failure?

From the perspective of manifesting a prosperous life, we need to not be so quick to assign judgment to things or get sidetracked by labels.  

From our limited human perspective it’s easy to assign a judgment (and find a responsible villain) for things we perceive to be bad.  When we get a scary medical diagnosis or lose a loved one, we often personalize it and blame a corrupt system or a vindictive god.  But if every creature on earth lived forever, we might soon be hoping for a drastic solution to rectify the resulting situation.  Loved ones die and new loved ones are born.  Winter morphs into spring and the cycle continues.  One door closes but there’s a window that’s wide open.

Much like the philosophies of Stoicism and the 12-step programs, we have to release our anger over the things we cannot control and concentrate on the things we can.  Within every tragedy, setback, and challenge lie the seeds of a possible opportunity. The less time we spend on assigning judgment, bemoaning our fate, and seeking a villain – the more time we have to celebrate the victories, learn from our setbacks, and savor the moments.  That is the pathway to a prosperous life.


- RG

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